Personal Reflection 📝
I thought my last 60° morning ride would be at the end of September, but on October 29, it was 60° when I set out at 4:45 a.m. On October 30, it was 72° when I went out for a run at 4:45 a.m. wearing shorts and a tank top. By noon, I was wearing a winter jacket with a hood. The kicker is that snow is on the way for Halloween. 🦇
With a heavy heart, I find gratitude for the warm temperatures this time of year. Sewn within is a great sadness for the damage we're causing Mother Earth, resulting in these unseasonable temperatures. 🌎
Whitecaps on Bde Maka Ska on October 6, 2024
I continue to appreciate the scenery during my early morning rides and often stop to take photos—some nature shots and some urban ones.
It's getting to be baking season! Not that I need a season to bake, but heating the kitchen is more pleasant when it's cold outside. I've stocked up on seasonal/holiday cookie cutters and am excited to experience the chaos of cookie decorating with a toddler. 🤣
I'm thrilled to report that Nils enjoys riding his bike A LOT! He zips around on it frequently, inside or out. 🩵 Last week, he decided to take off on the grass while riding in the neighborhood, rolling over branches and tree roots with ease—until he came across this obstacle that stumped him.
As I mentioned in the last Monthly Recap, Witnessing Grief won first place in the NYC Big Book Awards this fall. For those interested in seeing the 2024 winners' publication, please use this link or click on the photo below. You'll create an account to access the publication, but there's no cost involved.
I completed editing my portion of the ICF Coaching BoK (Book of Knowledge). I haven't heard from the ICF since submitting my suggested edits, but they were extensive. Several writers contributed to each chapter, and it was clear that some were adept wordsmiths and others were not. While some passages needed nary an edit, others were utterly undecipherable. This book is a massive and valuable project for the ICF and coaching profession; ultimately, I hope to be proud of my association with the final product.
Next on the horizon is surviving the holidays and Nicholas' birthday (with baking and cookie decorating). Several folks who read the Monthly Recap shared their appreciation for my closing thoughts on grief last month, so I'll try to conjure something relevant to say in each newsletter.
What comes to mind today is the visceral experience of grief. This week, I added my grandson, Nils, named after Nicholas, as a beneficiary to my life/health policies. Of course, I had to use his full name, which meant writing Nicholas Seidl. Then, I sat back and saw all three of my son's names, but in the wrong order: Nicholas trailing at the end like he's forever trying to catch up. My breath catches as I consider the power of thirteen letters and know that without a pacemaker, my heart would once again stop. I stare at his name for a long time, noticing its largeness on the screen, just like Nicholas, my large child, and believe if I stare at it long enough, he will materialize before me, knowing I've lost him forever. Then, I involuntarily hope it's all been a terrible nightmare and he's still here because there's his name in black and white. And there's boundless sorrow because the face that goes with that name still hovers clearly in my mind at 18 years old, halted in time forever. I want to pull my eyes away from the name below Benjamin and Joseph, but I cannot. I cannot lose him again. If I keep looking, he is tangible and alive, and the hole in my chest will once again fill in.
July 4, 2015
And all that is why Nils is Nils to me.
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October 3, 2024
Halloween Cat humor 🐈⬛
Thank you for being a part of this transformative journey.
Your support and trust mean the world.
Holly Margl is the award-winning author of Witnessing Grief: Inviting Trauma and Loss to Our Coaching Conversations, An Enneagram Perspective. Holly is an ICF Master Certified Coach, an IEA Accredited Professional, and an Advanced Certified Mentor Coach specializing in grief, loss, and the Enneagram.
Witnessing Grief: Inviting Trauma and Loss to Our Coaching Conversations,
An Enneagram Perspective
Holly Margl, MCC, IEA Accredited Professional
Published August 30, 2022: The Compassionate Mind Collaborative
ISBN: 978-1737200673; $19.99
1946 St. Clair Avenue
Saint Paul, Minnesota 55105 USA