Personal Reflection 📝
It's hard to believe it's the end of September on an 80° day with green trees everywhere. But I'm not complaining! I say all this after just researching new winter cycling boots. 🤣 I've got boots, of course; I live in Minnesota. However, I've not found boots that warm my feet when riding below 20°. Why would I ride when it's that cold, you ask? The alternative is riding indoors on a trainer or some other popular cycling gizmo or, worse yet, a spin class. No thanks! I'll spend my mornings outside and have dozens of bins filled with cycling gear for four seasons.
The Mighty Mississippi seen from the Ford Bridge in Saint Paul, looking North.
I spent September 22 with my surrogate family 💚 in Brainerd, MN. With warm, sunny temps, we spent time on the beach, and in the boat, we rode across the lake for mammoth ice cream cones and otherwise talked and read. While sitting on the porch enjoying conversation and lake gossip, a deer strolled by and stopped for a scratch near the happy tree. We watched for bears and Sasquatch but missed out on such excitement.
On the morning of the 22nd, the neighborhood fish spent time with me while I sat on the dock—they offered peaceful company on a sad but beautiful morning. The lake was crystal clear and calm, with fewer vacationing boaters who usually stir up the seaweed and sand. 🐟 🐠
Exciting news: Witnessing Grief won first place in the NYC Big Book Awards! I entered the contest in January of this year and completely forgot about it. It was a pleasant surprise heading into the sixth anniversary of Nicholas' death. Witnessing Grief's award will be featured in the October NYC Big Book Award Announcement publication in the Grief category.
What's next? This fall, I'm volunteering as a peer reviewer for the International Coaching Federation (ICF). The ICF is creating a Coaching Book of Knowledge (CoachBoK) for coaches interested in ICF accreditation or anyone keen to understand the method and ethics of coaching. This comprehensive book will explore and explain coaching at the ICF PCC level (Professional Certified Coach), the middle tier of ICF Coach Certification. I will review the "Embodies a Coaching Mindset" section at my request. In many ways, this competency parallels what I offer in Witnessing Grief: that coaching is a way of being; it is not a skill we do. Proficiency provides nothing if we cannot stay present with our clients and their agenda when we get emotionally triggered.
Gull Lake, MN
Apart from that, every weekend is filled with visiting friends and family long neglected during the years I wrote my book and took Enneagram courses. I'm eternally grateful to the friends who didn't disappear after my book was published (a weirdly common occurrence, I'm told) and to Nicholas' friends who maintain their presence in my life. 🩷
Nicholas posted this birthday photo I had never seen on Instagram in 2016—one of his friends who can see his posts shared it with me recently—a bittersweet and priceless gift.
One final thought about grief: I have found that losing a child is a trauma the brain doesn't entirely wrap itself around. Sometimes, I don't understand what it means to be "alive"—it seems fluid—and I can't be solid if Nicholas is not. There's a constant sense of unreality. And while grief can bring a reevaluation of priorities and seeing what's essential in one's life, it also leaves a feeling that nothing matters because everything is irreparably broken. 💔
Full moon on September 18 at 5:04 am
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Gull Lake Fish Friends 🐟
Thank you for being a part of this transformative journey.
Your support and trust mean the world.
Holly Margl is the award-winning author of Witnessing Grief: Inviting Trauma and Loss to Our Coaching Conversations, An Enneagram Perspective. Holly is an ICF Master Certified Coach, an IEA Accredited Professional, and an Advanced Certified Mentor Coach specializing in grief, loss, and the Enneagram.
Witnessing Grief: Inviting Trauma and Loss to Our Coaching Conversations,
An Enneagram Perspective
Holly Margl, MCC, IEA Accredited Professional
Published August 30, 2022: The Compassionate Mind Collaborative
ISBN: 978-1737200673; $19.99
1946 St. Clair Avenue
Saint Paul, Minnesota 55105 USA