First, I want this book to widen your lens of experiences encompassing grief, trauma, and loss so that they become less feared. We’ll explore the definitions of grief, trauma, and loss, and several being coaching skills. Grief encompasses more topics than we might realize, so we’ll look candidly at where it hides. And we’ll jump in with a formidable story in chapter 1 to prime you for learning how to stay present no matter what. Finally, as the title suggests, witnessing is a critical factor with heavy coaching topics like grief, trauma, and loss, so we will explore what witnessing means in the coaching venue.
Second, I hope you learn to discern your client from their story and feel confident to bear witness to their suffering. By digging beneath your ego defenses, you can see your patterned emotional reactions in action and how they directly impact your coaching interactions. Without awareness, we hear and see the narratives and often forget about the person telling them. Accordingly, we must know ourselves well enough to recognize where we focus our attention. Thus, we’ll use several tools, including the Enneagram and numerous coaching scenarios, to practice noticing where your attention goes with complex narratives.
Third, I hope you discover the fortitude to be with and the receptivity to learn from your grieving and traumatized clients. While training and education are vital for masterful coaching, the skill most needed by grieving and traumatized clients is your being. Learning to be involves inner-witnessing and mirroring from others, including our clients. However, humans most often dismiss being while overdoing. And yet, being allows for receptivity (letting your guard down) rather than protection (which requires more doing). To be sure, your clients feel the difference in your presence.
Finally, when you finish reading this book, I hope you have what you were looking for and feel better prepared to meet your client’s and your own grief, trauma, and loss.
Holly Margl, MCC, IEA Accredited Professional, Advanced Certified Mentor Coach, NBCHWC, CSCS
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Witnessing Grief is available on:
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