please don't wish or proclaim to remove our pain
those attempts at care are entirely in vain

please don't profess what our loved ones would want
in matters of our beloved, you are not a savant

it's naive at best
to assume what we need
to think you can mend us
well, that's just make-believe

Our grief is not yours to take and mold
Our grief is ours to have and to hold

Our grief is tangible—it lives and breathes
just like our love that never leaves

Our grief means we're here
despite they are not

Our grief is proof
they are not forgot

—Holly Margl, 2023

"I wouldn't want anybody to take my pain. I have to feel that. If I don't feel that pain, there's something wrong. That's my pain. My daughter. To know she existed. There's no other way."
— Mary, whose beloved Eileen died eleven years ago today. 💜

Holly Margl is the award-winning author of Witnessing Grief; Inviting Trauma and Loss to Our Coaching Conversations, An Enneagram Perspective, coach, coach mentor, and trainer specializing in grief, trauma, and the Enneagram.